Can you control your anger? Do you find it easy?
One of the things that I’ve been struggling to control is my temper. History has proven that I often do stupid things when I get into a fit of rage, really stupid things. But stupid, by my own definition, does not mean physically beating someone up. I have sworn never do that, unless of course if I do it in self-defense.
Instead, this stupid jerk often focuses his anger on other things, like inanimate objects. I’ve lost count of how many personal mobile phones I’ve smashed and walls I’ve bashed. A few years ago, I once vented my ire on an unsuspecting laptop and sent it to notebook heaven. And I have most especially lost track of how many times I’ve regretfully and shamefully come to realize my stupidity, and most importantly, my weakness.
Going back to my previous post on Chinese Astrology. I am a fire dragon personified. This leads me to re-think ways how to handle my temper. My fuse is long, but it’s the “dragon fire” at the end that worries me.
I don’t know how long it’ll take me to finally master my temper, but I do pray that it will be sometime soon. I know that I’ve made some improvements over the years, but I feel that it’s about time to take it to the finish line. And I am confident that with Conne’s love, understanding, and support, and with God’s blessings, I can someday put this to rest.
I love you, Conne, and I’m sorry.