Makati’s bungled coup attempt

Yesterday was another interesting day in Makati City, highlighted by another bungled ‘coup’ attempt, mutiny, rebellion, standoff, or what-have-you, led by Senator Antonio Trillanes IV and Brigadier General Danilo Lim, which was staged at the posh Manila Peninsula hotel.

It’s true, the government has lost the support of many Filipinos, mostly induced by the recent spate of scandals, questions on legitimacy, and alleged constitutional and human rights violations. True still is the fact that the opposition is slowly gaining ground in its attempts to wrest control of the government leadership. But whatever momentum the opposition has gained went for naught simply because they can’t put their act together. Haven’t they ever heard of the ‘team building’ concept?

Oh well, are there other lessons to be learned? Hell, yes!

Some of these are:

1. Never make bookings in any of Makati’s premier hotels. Settling for three-star hotels or motels will do.

2. Make sure you have enough fuel in your tanks. Curfew-induced traffic can quickly deplete your car’s fuel and trigger your temper. We have an opposition’s senseless action begetting a government’s equally senseless reaction

3. Make sure to empty your bladder before driving. Again, curfew-induced traffic can be hell for anyone with a full bladder. It’s sort of a ‘piss poor’ drive after a ‘piss poor’ coup.

4. We now have new ways to use plastic cable ties aside from managing computer cables – Yes, steel handcuffs are obsolete – talk about Filipino ingenuity. Those bondage and S&M couples definitely learned a thing or two and added a new toy to their arsenal.

5. When applying for building insurance, remember to add a clause stipulating coverage from tanks or assault vehicles barging into your facility. This is what I call a true ‘Urban Assault’. Shock and awe, baby! NOT!